When I started my career 30 years ago someone said to me: “don’t ever get old.” That is easier said then done; and research has shown that older citizens need many of the same things that they had for the decades that proceeds any decline linked to growing old. This includes family, friends, access to food, shelter and medical care, and connection. The greatest risk in aging is not simply illness or decline, but the experience of becoming unseen, unnecessary, and disconnected.

As emphasized in the work of Julianne Holt-Lunstad and colleagues, social disconnection forms a significant public health risk factor, with effect sizes comparable to several established behavioral and medical risks (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015). Importantly, the consequences extend beyond the individual level. Within aging populations, social isolation is linked to increased caregiver burden, reduced opportunities for early detection of medical or cognitive decline, and greater reliance on crisis-driven intervention especially when deterioration goes unrecognized. These patterns underscore the interpersonal and systemic implications of loneliness, positioning it as both an individual and relational health risk (National Academies of Sciences Engineering and Medicine, 2020; Steven H. Zarit et al., 1980).

“Beyond physical decline, aging carries the risk of what has been described as ‘social death’—a state in which individuals feel unseen, unnecessary, and disconnected from the social world” (see Robert N. Butler, 1975; Erik Erikson, 1982).

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Aging well is not simply a matter of physical health or longevity; it is deeply tied to a sustained sense of purpose and the capacity for resilience in the face of inevitable change. As individuals move later into life, roles that once defined identity—career, parenting, community leadership—often diminish or disappear. Without intentional efforts to redefine meaning, this transition can create a quiet erosion of self-worth. Purpose in later life does not need to mirror earlier productivity; rather, it can emerge through mentorship, reflection, creative expression, or acts of connection that reinforce a continued sense of value and contribution.

Resilience becomes equally essential, as aging frequently brings loss—of loved ones, independence, physical strength, and social networks. The ability to adapt psychologically to these changes often determines whether aging is experienced as a period of decline or one of integration and growth. Those who age well tend to maintain cognitive flexibility, emotional openness, and an ability to recalibrate expectations without surrendering dignity. Resilience in this context is not about denial of hardship, but about maintaining engagement with life despite it, preserving agency wherever possible.

Too often, however, elderly men and women become socially invisible as mobility decreases and opportunities for engagement narrow. This invisibility is not merely a social oversight; it carries real psychological and physiological consequences, including increased risk for depression, cognitive decline, and even mortality. Addressing this requires both individual and societal commitment—creating structures that foster inclusion, encouraging intergenerational connection, and recognizing the enduring significance of older adults.

Aging well, then, is not only a personal achievement but a collective responsibility to ensure that no one fades into irrelevance simply because they have lived long enough to need others more. For people is this situation stay in touch with family, friends and neighbors. Bring them along with respect and loving inclusion.

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Cacioppo, J. T., & Hawkley, L. C. (2009). Perceived social isolation and cognition. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 13(10), 447–454. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2009.06.005

Erikson, E. H. (1982). The life cycle completed. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352

Butler, R. N. (1975). Why survive? Being old in America. New York, NY: Harper & Row.

National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2020). Social isolation and loneliness in older adults: Opportunities for the health care system. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. https://doi.org/10.17226/25663

Zarit, S. H., Reever, K. E., & Bach-Peterson, J. (1980). Relatives of the impaired elderly: Correlates of feelings of burden. The Gerontologist, 20(6), 649–655. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/20.6.649

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Michael Sefton, Ph.D.